I have been trying to better my self lately.. I hit the bag everyday or least try too.. Figures it would help with my heart and all. I just seems that a part of me is yet not satisfied. I mean i feel great and all, but yet there is still something that drags me down oh yeah depression. I know back when i was a kid I fought with it. People thought it was a joke. Well now that i am older and wiser it seems the thoughts and my attitude change alot. One day i am ok the next i am miserable. I look in the mirror and see the same kid ive know forever. I am fighting me and myself all the time its a continuous battle. I am not asking for help or sympathy just understanding. For instance when i was in school i got into alot of fights. I am not a fighter I will not start a fight and I rather just walk away. There were times were i had to stand up for who i was. Most of the fights though i didnt see the other person i saw me. It was like i was beating the crap out of what ever demons were in me. Well anyways when I punch the bag I still see me I still am fighting the same person ive been fighting my whole life sure life was hard and all. I just wish one day i could no longer fight me but instead fight the things that are really going on. Its not easy being strong its not easy pretending you feel nothing and then when the door closes you finally brake down. So all i am doing is ranting.. So i guess what i am saying is were do you find strength when you whole life you had to be strong?